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	<title>Random Press</title>
	<link>http://www.randompress.net/words</link>
	<description>A pursuit of the absurd.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 07 Jan 2010 04:44:16 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<item>
		<title>Pineapple Express</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
[Note: I wrote this over a year ago, then sat on it because it seemed trivial. However, since this blog has been incredibly glitchy for quite some time and I can't find the fricken code I need to contact my host, you'll just have to read a belated review, sans pictures, because hey, that's part [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2010/01/06/pineapple-express/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>The BBQ Puker</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In the foothills northeast of Santa Barbara sits a posh, gated community, where if you happen to be working within, you must first sign a contract, the small print of which states you must not even look at the pool once you’re on the property you’ve been assigned to. Dogs aren’t even allowed in your [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2009/10/15/the-bbq-puker/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>What’s On TV?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[There’s usually a time to turn off the cable TV, and that’s when you turn it on.
TALKING HEADS. No, not the band. With basic cable especially, nothing is ever on. Sure, you’ve got the golf channel, constantly cycling reruns of great shots at The Masters, where putt after putt wanders across the green and woh!, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2009/07/11/what%e2%80%99s-on-tv/</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Dangerous Music</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Itunes recently promoted some Library of Congress podcasts, one of which was about composing with the Devil.
Apparently, a musical interval called the tritone consists of starting on C then jumping up to F sharp, which is somehow tied to physics (and our brain). If you have a string for each note, the ratio of those [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2009/07/07/dangerous-music/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Estrogen</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It has long been known in the scientific world that frogs are the harbingers of doom.
I watched a frogumentary the other night on Hulu, where one group of scientists were taking some of the remaining amphibians from one area and—by helicopter—relocating them in hopes that they’d propagate in the new area.
That’s one hell of an [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2009/07/06/estrogen/</link>
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		<title>Taser Laser</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m not normally one to complain about other people’s loud music. I like my music loud too, and some tunes are simply meant to be played at ear-splitting volumes: Ozzy, Jane’s, Metallica, … Chris Isaac.
I do, however, hold a certain angry, intense contempt in my heart for static: and on that note, a stereo went off [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2009/07/02/taser-laser/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The French fry Thief</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
 
Tony Blair had entered the building.
For a week prior to the event, I kept thinking I’d be doing security for Tony Bennett, but no: the two are entirely different entities. The former was a diplomat with international connections, those connections continuing into his private life despite his having buddied up next to the poison Bush. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2009/04/22/the-french-fry-thief/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The iPhone</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
 
I needed an iPhone about as much as I needed an elephant in my back yard, but since Amazon was fresh out of elephants, I opted for the simpler purchase of the phone.
Suffice to say, it’s pimp. As one fellow user said, it’s a far better computer than it is a phone, but otherwise it’s [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2009/03/16/the-iphone/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The Telethon</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
I recently attended a telethon, and there’s a reason that ends in a “thon.” All you have to do is replace “tele” with “mara” and you get an idea as to the fun to be had while attending a 12-hour telethon.
Who watches these things?
My point here is not to dis the impact of their intent. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2008/12/16/the-telethon/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Rich Kids with Tight Pants</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
 
Sheltered rich kids have such a dazed look about them: as if the real world is a little too bright for their delicate sensibilities.
 
They get their first job and they show up wearing slacks that are a tad too tight, and a sweater a size too small. This look is not to be confused with [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.randompress.net/words/2008/11/09/rich-kids-with-tight-pants/</link>
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