Random Press » Absurd

The Conversation

Fleeceman — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:57:30 +0000

Super: (over black) The Conversation EXT. DAY — STEARNS WHARF

Probably not mind-controlled, nor communing with dinosaurs, but most possibly nutty.

An overcast day, mostly still with just a hint of onshore breeze. The tide is high and a south swell buffets the pilings. The sound is like small marbles rolling along a glass-bottomed box. From nowhere, a . . . → Read More: The Conversation

Cambodian Reptile Cow

Fleeceman — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 17:40:36 +0000

Helga loves you.

GMCs (genetically modified creatures) are less known than GMOs, but are quietly becoming a reality.

You may recall a news feed blurb a few whiles back, which claimed that a calf born with snakelike skin died only three days after birth. The death was apparently due to lack of mother’s milk, not because it . . . → Read More: Cambodian Reptile Cow

Bananas

Fleeceman — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 06:14:53 +0000

The book that says it all, or at least what has been said before.

I must warn you to beware when a guitar-playing Jesus shows up at your “office” and asks if things are great. (And yes, he says it like that.)

He then sets a book down on your desk. It is self-published and entitled “Pay . . . → Read More: Bananas

Golfing

Fleeceman — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 06:04:27 +0000

The majestic Alabama Hills, as depicted by Ansel Adams.

The surreality of golfing is enough to warrant that nothing more needs to be said—unless you end up in Lone Pine.

Lone Pine as a concept should have dissolved into a wispy ghost town decades ago, but it survives by the graces of curious Los Angeles travelers in . . . → Read More: Golfing

The BBQ Puker

Fleeceman — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:08:00 +0000

In the foothills northeast of Santa Barbara sits a posh, gated community, where if you happen to be working within, you must first sign a contract, the small print of which states you must not even look at the pool once you’re on the property you’ve been assigned to. Dogs aren’t even allowed in your vehicle, . . . → Read More: The BBQ Puker

Estrogen

Fleeceman — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:15:05 +0000

It has long been known in the scientific world that frogs are the harbingers of doom.

I watched a frogumentary the other night on Hulu, where one group of scientists were taking some of the remaining amphibians from one area and—by helicopter—relocating them in hopes that they’d propagate in the new area.

That’s one hell of an expensive . . . → Read More: Estrogen

Taser Laser

Fleeceman — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:29:54 +0000

I’m not normally one to complain about other people’s loud music. I like my music loud too, and some tunes are simply meant to be played at ear-splitting volumes: Ozzy, Jane’s, Metallica, … Chris Isaac.

I do, however, hold a certain angry, intense contempt in my heart for static: and on that note, a stereo went off the . . . → Read More: Taser Laser

The Guitar Dude

Fleeceman — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 21:46:20 +0000

A basic guitar.

The first time we crossed paths the Euros seemed perfectly normal. The dude, a skinny, shaved-headed individual tugging on a cigarette, and the girl, sitting there quietly on her towel, both feigned interest in our dogs—asking the typical ‘what kind?’ ‘how old?’ and ‘what’s her name?’

Perfectly normal.

On the way back . . . → Read More: The Guitar Dude

The Return of Gaia

Fleeceman — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:46:43 +0000

Perhaps you’ll all be absurdly pleased to know that everything is working again. It seems I had a poorly written permalink code in my WP admin.

Yep. That’s why I asked for help from the people who know about those things, because finding that code and fixing it myself would have been the equivalent of extracting bone . . . → Read More: The Return of Gaia

G-strings and Sorority Girls

Fleeceman — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 16:41:48 +0000

As I exited Blenders on State Street the other day, I heard a commotion just up the street. I looked up to hear honking and several people running around a few cars. I couldn’t quite make out the details.

I got on my bike, balanced with my smoothie, and began my ride down State. Upon . . . → Read More: G-strings and Sorority Girls